INDIANAPOLIS – NY Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw unenthusiastically scored a touchdown on Sunday to win the Super Bowl. Bradshaw, who reluctantly crossed the goal line in the biggest game of his life, unwillingly become a team hero.

“I saw I had a hole up the middle,” explained Bradshaw, “but then when I got near the goal line I was like, ‘nah, not feeling it today.’ But I guess I scored the most important touchdown of my career anyway by accident. Oh well.” Bradshaw tried to slow his momentum but tumbled over the goal line for the undesired game-winning score. “Next time I’ll have to be more careful,” he lamented, “if there is a next time. Who knows how many more chances I’ll get to not score a touchdown in the Super Bowl?”

Bradshaw’s teammates stood behind the beleaguered rusher. “Yeah, it must be hard for Ahmad,” said quarterback Eli Manning, “but I’m glad he was able to take one for the team and score that touchdown. I know he’ll have to suffer through all of the fame and glory of being a Super Bowl hero, but hey, you take the good with the bad.”

Bradshaw’s troubles continued at the post-Super-Bowl party, where he accidentally scored with a cheerleader.