BUMFART, AL – Bill Smith had to double-take when he heard that Trayvon Martin was an African American. “I didn’t know he was black!” said the shocked Smith. “This completely blew me away,” he added.

“Whenever the media reports a child’s murder, that child is always white. I did see that the black community was clamoring for justice, but I just thought they were especially touched by this white child’s agony.”

The stunning revelation brought with it a whole new perspective. “This changes everything! Not gonna lie, Trayvon being black will totally ruin the Lifetime movie that they will eventually make about the killing. Trayvon no longer seems as innocent now that I know he was black and wearing a hoodie.”

Another aspect of the case that seemed to flummox Mr. Smith was the outrage over the “Stand Your Ground” law, which states that it is not necessary to retreat and it is acceptable to use deadly force when one feels threatened. Activists are up in arms about the law, but Smith does not seem to care. “’Stand Your Ground’ is a great law. If I see a squirrel in my yard and it comes towards me, I should be able to shoot it without having to wait until I see its nuts.”

This is not the first time Mr. Smith has been under fire for blind racism; earlier in the year, he discovered that he did not enjoy New York Knicks games on television as much as on the radio because he did not know Jeremy Lin was Asian.