ASG Candidates Blame Loss on Poor Weather, Low Turnout

EVANSTON — According to inside sources, ASG presidential candidates were disappointed that poor election day weather led to low voter turnout. Candidate Aaron Zelikovich has claimed that cold weather, accompanied by snow flurries, half-frozen rain, and “good ol’ fashioned Midwestern hail,” deterred many who would have otherwise gone out and voted for him.

Similarly, political strategists for David Harris and Jo Lee were adamant that had the weather been better, voter turnout amongst seniors, who traditionally support candidates with their platform, would have led the candidates to victory. Campaign insiders also pointed out that on-campus polling places also discriminate against off-campus residents, since they often do not have a reason to leave their apartments on Fridays.

Harris had harsh words for the controversial voting regulations that stipulated students that students must provide both a NetID and its corresponding password when accessing the polling place. “It drives down the turnout of minority students,” argued Harris, explaining that such students did not receive a NetID or password when entering the university. “It certainly didn’t help us this time around.”

“Maybe we should implement a voting system that allows people to vote whenever, wherever they want,” said an anonymous campaign strategist for Zelikovich. “I hear in Oregon everyone mails in their votes. We should really look into that.” Another anonymous strategist was heard complaining about the lack of centrally located student center, which according to the strategist, would have made voting much easier for everyone.

Following defeat, Benison Choi plans on spending more time with his family.

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