Uncle A Little Too Interested In Your Hookups
YOUR HOMETOWN – Reports have confirmed that your uncle is a little too interested in your college hookups. Throughout Thanksgiving dinner, your uncle repeatedly led the conversation back to your fall quarter hookups, asking questions that nobody at the table wanted to hear.
Your uncle started off asking harmless questions like “So, met any girls at school?” and “Any cute ones?” but you started to feel slightly uncomfortable when he loudly asked “So, you been plowin’ one girl or are you playin’ the field?” It was not clear if your uncle was simply trying to re-live his college days through you or if he was starting to feel the effects of beginning Thanksgiving drinking at 9am, but either way you found his questions “creepy and kinda fucked up.”
“Listen, I love my uncle,” you said. “But when he pulled me aside after dinner and asked if I had ‘banged any of those crazy Latinas’ I really started to feel like this wasn’t the best conversation topic.”
Your mother agreed, stating, “I’ve accepted the fact that my son is going to hookup with girls at school. The one thing I ask is that I don’t have to hear about it. My brother asking him questions like “Have you had sex on a roof yet?” is really the opposite of what I want.
Reports have also confirmed that you were thrilled when your uncle left and went back home, but you weren’t thrilled when he patted you on the back and exclaimed, “Can’t wait to catch up more at Christmas!”