Study: Rush of Dopamine Frat Boys Get From Wearing Salmon Comparable to Orgasm

A new study conducted on Northwestern’s fraternities confirms what many of us already suspected: the rush of dopamine men in fraternities experience when donning the color salmon is on par with that from an orgasm.

When asked what about this particular shade of pink was so enticing, junior Brett Tannon said that “It’s not pink. It’s salmon. There’s a huge difference. To answer your question, I can’t really put my finger on it, but wearing it is when I feel most masculine.”

Sophomore Royce Connery only recently joined a fraternity, but says he’s already noticed a difference in how he reacts to the color. “I’ve always owned a pair of salmon Chubbies shorts, and, before I never gave them much thought; I just felt that they made my quads look really defined,” he said. “But now, whenever I put them on I can feel the increase in testosterone and dopamine immediately. Yesterday I wore them and I chucked my Sperry’s at the TV.”

Some, however, are unfazed by the study’s findings. “We’ve known this for years,” said Alicia Spencer, head of marketing for Vineyard Vines. “Our profits doubled once we realized you can get men to buy $50 pocket squares if you sell them in salmon.”

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