ASG Elections Kidnapping Plot Foiled
“The race for padding resumés with bullshit positions has never been more intense,” said Neil Mantle, Allison’s Area Coordinator. “We were afraid something like this might happen eventually.”
Author Archives: Kirby Gong
Congress Refuses to Compromise between Parties
Bars in the District of Columbia have been filled with congressmen all month, and private parties are held almost daily.
The Flipside Investigates: Norris Bookstore Has Books
Norris Bookstore promised that it has, and always has had, more than enough textbooks, access codes, and student manuals, for all students in every single class at Northwestern, ever.