Op-Ed: Top 10 Senses I Acquired after Chewing 5-Gum
Everyone loves that feeling when they have honey all over their hands. I get to have that feeling all the time! Thanks, 5-Gum!
Author Archives: Richard Godsel
Ask Flippy: My Dad Finally Came Back After 17 Years, Is He Telling the Truth When He Says He’s a Cicada?
“My dad claimed that he is a cicada and that he needed to hibernate for 17 years.”
Popular Twitter Comedian Way Too Excited to Post Face Reveal
After gaining his 90,000th follower, funniest_memes_central tweeted out, “Thanks everybody! 10,000 more follows and I’ll do a face reveal!”
Man Trying to Be Healthier Accidentally Buys Overripe Bananas, Must Bake Them into Banana Bread
Fuffler promised that his diet will be “all uphill once I finish this loaf.”
“Runnin’ with the Devil” Tribute to Van Halen at Mike Pence Speech Probably a Bad Idea in Hindsight
Vice President Pence supports the president’s Christian values and would not be Trump’s running mate if he had any ties with Satan.”
New Rick Riordan Novel Says Hitler was Son of Apollo
A reviewer for the New York Times wrote, “Riordan’s new novel adventures into the past to chronicle the demigods that influenced WWII. Making Hitler the son of the god of light is certainly an interesting and unique idea in historical fiction.”
Teen Supports Decision to Reopen America after Mother Finishes Third James Patterson Novel this Week
Until recently, local teenager Jenny Dorn was an avid supporter of the government’s decision to continue the coronavirus lockdown until scientists declare that a slow reopening can safely begin. However, she had a change of heart after her mother finished reading her third James Patterson novel this week. “Like most socially-conscious teens of my age, I thought that ending the lockdown within the near future would be disastrous,” Dorn wrote in a widely shared Change.org petition. “Then my mom cracked
Freshman Just Referred to Professor as His “Teacher”
“There’s no way I can associate with him anymore. We’re in college now, bro. We have professors, not teachers. It’s just so childish,” said Jacob Villanueva, before heelying away.
Op-Ed: As a 30-Year Old Man Who Lives in His Parents’ Basement, Parasite Really Spoke to Me
I’ve read other film critics reviews spouting out nonsense about how the movie was a masterful display of how capitalism pits societal classes against each other, but I don’t believe this was really the major point of the film. I understood Bong Joon-ho’s message that middle-aged people who live in their parents’ basement should get the same respect as everyone else.
Ask Flippy: I’m Running to Norbucks, Want Anything?
If you don’t want caffeine, they have smoothies and stuff, too, I think.