Category Archives: No. 91

Police Arrest ‘78 Alumna for “Tryna Get Shwasty” at Homecoming

EVANSTON — Eileen Schneider, WCAS ’78, was arrested this weekend for belligerent behavior and public indecency during a homecoming event on Deering Meadow, according to new reports from the Evanston Police Department. She had been yelling obscenities across the meadow and flashing gentlemen coming in and out of Kellogg. Schneider was stunned by her arrest and by the harsh campus rules that have “poisoned this university.” “I was just tryna get a little shwasty up on Sheridan,” Schneider said as

History Teacher a Real Dickwad for Scheduling Test the Monday after Halloween Weekend

By Harry Barbash, Sophomore Economics Major What the fuck, Professor Donaghy? Do you have any idea what happened this last weekend? You think there was time to study for a midterm about the Celts in the 11th century? Because there sure as shit was not. Let’s start with the obvious. Halloween is the peak time for drunken revelry. Halloween just sweetens the crowded-apartment-party pot. Hookups become even more anonymous as you grind up on whatever masked person’s behind you. Alcohol

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