Design Students Pitch Ideas to Add Huge Bong to Elder Patio
“It should be artsy, yet functional. I’m thinking it should also be as big as four people.”
Category Archives: No. 139
Man Eats Both Nature Valley Granola Bars at Once Like a Goddamn Barbarian
“Frankly, we at Nature Valley find this behavior a violation of our product, and Torrey’s eating habits in no way reflect the kind of consumer we wish to attract,” said John Baringer, president of public relations at Nature Valley. “Seriously, what a goddamn ape.”
NU Landscaping Innovates New Way To Install Trees
“Only cost 3.4 billion and four separate construction crews…”
REPORT: $2 Hotdogs More Likely to Cause Cancer than Cure It
The study, authored by Dr. Kevin Fisher, stunned the medical community by hypothesizing a correlation between consumption of pork by-product and negative health effects, regardless of any charitable intent behind consuming said pork by-product.
NUmacroagressions Campaign Begins In Defense of Rich White Guys
“It’s not our fault we only have six private jets – blame the manufacturer.”
FDA Bans Sale of e-Cigarettes to Minors, Ensuring Minors Will Never Want to Try e-Cigarettes
The FDA has attached an air of danger and rebellion to a product that makes its users look like they’re smoking a fucking kazoo.
Letter: Examining the Flipside Wage Gap
Is the wage gap between campus publications a result of discrimination? The underlying cause is uncertain, but jumping to conclusions in the absence of proof is totally logical.
GPAs Fall 50% Due to Simultaneous Netflix/XFinity Streaming
RedesignNU: Hackathon Addresses Major Problems with Northwestern Computer Systems
The hackers were charged with teaching the NUIT staff how to properly use a computer, starting with basic functions like adjusting the volume and plugging in a keyboard.
California Chrome Wins Kentucky Derby and Most Boring Name Award