In what city officials are calling an “unfortunate mixup” and “a major oopsie,” dozens of wild boars were released into the local town Gilligan, IL for the celebration of Arbor Day.
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“She really connects to the experiences of college-age Gen-Z students like no other 60 year old woman I’ve ever met.”
“The entire process is really very simple,” explained a confused Cinemark representative, “we just send you a notification through the Duo app, drop you an quick email, ask you to fill out a supplementary google form, and confirm your identity through carrier pigeon. Everything is for your own security!”
Chandler posted three get-to-know-me posts in the group so that every new classmate could get a full picture of her.
“I’ve probably got more STIs than I can count, so it’s gonna be really cool to finally find out what some of them are called.”
“We just thought that Sect Week would be an amazing opportunity to enlighten students on the differences and similarities between the many branches of Christianity available for their perusing pleasure.”
Though Joshua was ultimately grounded, it seems this incident may have created a future comedian.
Women’s soccer is now insisting upon real cleats in lieu of university-issued stilettos.
ETHS Soccer Moms Disappointed To Learn The Facebook Group They Joined Is Actually A Northwestern “Me-me” Page
“The woman I thought was Danica, the bitch who brought GMO orange slices to practice last week, revealed herself to actually be some guy from Northwestern.”
Democratic congressman Adam Schiff, who has spent several months threatening to subpoena a complete copy of “The Lorax”, claimed Wednesday that Americans had a right to the unredacted copy.