“I can just tell from our first interaction that he’s the kind of man I need to be with. I’ve had my fill of guys who don’t shout demeaning things at random passerby.”
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“I hate my major now and my PA group hasn’t responded to my last five messages in the old GroupMe, so I figured attending this event of my own free will was as good a cry for help as any.”
“Ellen has really been around the block, man. I’m still shook over what she had to do to get that brownie mix for our fundraiser reimbursed.”
Ask Flippy: How Did A$AP Ferg Fill Out His Name on ScanTrons When There Is Not a Corresponding Dollar Sign Bubble?
How did A$AP Ferg fill out his name on ScanTrons when there isn’t a corresponding dollar sign bubble? He must have taken a standardized test at some point in his life, right?
“Hey, it’s still a Northwestern dorm, isn’t it? We said you have to live on campus for two years, but we never specified which campus.”
“Only time and weekly episodes at 9pm EST will tell Who Will Get Chair, which, as far as Flipside investigators can tell, is the premise of British Chair Show. That, and gratuitous rape scenes that fanboys insist are ‘for the realism.'”
Since I didn’t see my mom’s vaginal canal, I do see the world in a different perspective, and I think that’s why I’m so unique.
“Danger: Live Munitions and the Perfect Facebook Cover Ahead.”
“My voice sounds really decent on an auto-tuned studio recording. Still, the acapella groups won’t accept me, even though at least half of them sound like you’re listening to an Instagram cover of Mariah Carey.”
According to witnesses, Kushberg called for a brief recess in the Passover seder, then grabbed a bowl of bitter herbs from the seder plate, rushed to a dimly lit area behind the temple and took a bitter herb hit of Biblical proportions.