Op-Ed: I put on Beats headphones to walk across campus and now I’m trapped in a commercial where the sidewalks rotate in tempo with my music
The steps of Harris Hall sliced apart like dominoes and did the wave.
The steps of Harris Hall sliced apart like dominoes and did the wave.
I have heard nothing but complaints from my friends about not being able to do their homework, or get out of bed, or take a shower, or look at themselves in the mirror for more than three seconds. But not me! I’m absolutely perfect.
“I don’t cry, but if I did, I would shed one manly tear into my MyPillow pillow.”
Deep down, I know I earned this internship by trading massive amounts of my inheritance on Robinhood every day.
If you want to see a man’s face light up, get him something that will leave his legs shaking and booty aching.Â
She so brilliantly did a quick WebMD search for me.
The scene where the new a cappella recruits dance in the amphitheater is replaced by visions of upperclassmen belting off-key by the Willard piano. The Riff-Off just makes me think of prime time at Norbucks.
They are a plague on this campus – the likes of which have never been and will never be seen again.
After reaching out to the pug, who refused to comment, I sat under a tree for 49 days, wailing and tearing my hair, until I reached enlightenment.
“Piggybacking off of that, I just think the way they phrased it was really well. Well-phrased. Which time?”