“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said surgeon Liam Docter. “We gave him enough anesthesia to paralyze a horse, but he just kept telling us that health care was a human right and that the current market did nothing but feed the pockets of fat executives.”
Category Archives: Politics
“It’s like they think they’re fully autonomous people or somethin!”
A Flipside investigation: If you rearrange the letters of Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, you get Northwestern hrmnaoibsdraantiiocu
Meghan Markle did not explicitly name her son after Northwestern. Duh. As anyone who has watched The Princess Diaries would know, royals have to be discreet.
Despite what she is calling a “minor inconvenience,” Nielsen says she is trying to look on the bright side.
Democratic congressman Adam Schiff, who has spent several months threatening to subpoena a complete copy of “The Lorax”, claimed Wednesday that Americans had a right to the unredacted copy.
“Bernie has been running across the country for years, and as far as we can tell, will run until he dies.”
Melania could not be reached for comment, as she was busy staring out a White House window, her hand pressed against the cold glass, thinking of the days when she was a young girl and had nothing, and how much she took those days for granted.
“I got them all, folks,” the actual president said to raucous cheers from his unpaid Secret Service guards.
Twenty-something social media influencer and cryptic concept filmmaker Brynlee Hodges was truly inspired by Warren’s yeet.
Sadly, Mr. Von Count was not able to meet with election board officials before the races were officially called.