Mayfest released a statement this week regarding the addition: “We know that not everyone wants to listen to random bands and rappers that they sort of vaguely know, so, we decided to bring in those podcasters that you’ve been meaning to listen to but just haven’t had the time lately.”
“The best part is probably when you zoom in so much that everything becomes blurry and you can’t even find the singer on stage anymore. What a thrill!”
Reports from Mayfest sources indicate that Joey Badass will join Daniel Caesar, Whitney, and Young the Giant in the lineup for Dillo Day on June 2.
The ranking, which will be displayed right below the “5th Best Dining” award on Northwestern’s Wall of Mediocre Achievements, came as a great surprise to the campus community.
“We take great pride in planning the largest student-run outdoor winter music festival in the country, but unfortunately, high winds, single-digit temperatures, and accumulated snow have forced us to cancel all scheduled performances.”
“You know these kids are just gonna buy a new ID after you take it from them. So why not start up a side business?”
The first act is scheduled to open at precisely 6:00 am on the Monday of finals week with subsequent acts performing during the Chem 103, Econ 310, and Physics 135 midterms.
Most members of Mayfest have agreed that if Dillo is only rained out, they can deal with more “Fuck Mayfest” messages. One member said they had gotten used to it and even kind of missed it.
Then it hit me. This map was no perimeter for moral degradation and clinical diseases: it was a guide to discovering the hidden truths of Dillo—and human flesh.
10:07 – red bull walking around? Giving out energy. Tastes like hand santitizer fucked an old eaten melon.