Incoming Freshmen Surprised by Lack of Controversy on Campus
“I think we’ll all remain friends for most of our time here. Heck, we all wear the same purple t-shirts!”
Tag Archives: Freshman
Fraternity Pledge Not Drowning In Pussy Yet, Surprised
Sanders is allegedly bewildered by this turn of events.
Area Freshman Goes Home, Feels Smart Again
As she packed her bag to return to her rural Wisconsin home, sources report that she confided to a friend that she “feels insanely stupid” at Northwestern.
Freshman Already Claiming Winter Quarter Will Go Better
After receiving a B+ on her first assignment, Summers believes all she needs is a fresh start. “I just had to accept that this was a bump in the road,” she told her best friend Heather Heathers.
Freshman Thinks Bobb’s Full Name Is Robert
Sources indicate that although he had originally thought it was just named Bobb, he used the critical thinking skills that reportedly got him into Northwestern to deduce the dorm’s official name.
Area Freshman Wondering Why College Is So Easy
The Orange County, CA native informed the rest of her hall-mates that after nine AP classes, SAT tutoring and solving the state’s water crisis she’s slightly disappointed Northwestern hasn’t proved to be more of a challenge.
The Unauthorized Diary of a Freshman Girl in: Sorority Rush
Diary, please don’t judge me. I’m just soooo frakin nervous! Like, what if they don’t like the color of my hair, or the style of my clothes… Or the fact that my left boob is 3x bigger than my right boob!
Adorably Clueless Freshman Calls His Dorm “McCulloch”
Lost Freshman Found, Shown Where Einstein’s Actually Is
“[Tech] is a maze, man. I didn’t think I’d ever get out,” he said, still squinting from daylight. “I can’t believe more people haven’t gotten lost trying to find the Einstein’s in here.”
Freshman Girl Starts Fashion Blog, Revolutionizes Journalism