Guy that Just Ghosted You Actually Taking Time for Himself, And Also For His Ex
“I think I really just needed some alone time,” says Adam Ghoul, standing outside of his ex-girlfriend’s apartment building.
Tag Archives: girlfriend
Morty Nervous to Bring U.S. News Ranking Home to Meet Family
“Do I sometimes get jealous of other rankings and their hot Ivy League partners? Sure. But Morty is my man, and I think Northwestern University is a great school to be with,” the ranking said.
Girlfriend “Just Wants to Talk,” Sharpens Medieval Weaponry
“I was really confused at first, but when she started swinging the axe at me, I knew something was up.”
Area Student Suspending Campaign for Girlfriend
Many analysts had speculated Embree would end his campaign after consistently polling in the low single digits among attractive girls on campus.
Intercampus Extremes: The Trials of a Long Distance Relationship
“Spending all that energy walking is a total waste of 100 calories, especially because my girlfriend’s only on the 14-meal-a-week plan.”
Statistician 95% Confident He Fucked Your Girlfriend
EVANSTON—Yesterday at approximately 9:23 p.m., senior statistics major Josh Sylvan declared in a verbal report that he in all likelihood fucked your girlfriend. “I’m a little worried about my power because I was pretty drunk,” Sylvan said. “I would really feel bad for you if I made a type two error.” The stated confidence interval is hand job< μ<three rounds of hot action on your desk, bed, and shower, respectively. “These things are tricky,” admits Sylvan. “You have to be wary
“Don’t Worry, Cubs Will Win Super Bowl Someday,” Reports Area Girlfriend
CHICAGO—While watching the popular Fox show Glee, Abbey Ladder misinterpreted her boyfriend’s apparent disgust for the show. “I know it’s got a lot of singing in it, but it’s really not as gay as you say it is,” Abbey protested to Gary Bender, her boyfriend of one year. It was not the show that was bothering him, but one of the promotions for postseason baseball. “Not seeing the Cubs in the World Series always instills an unwavering anger in me.
Blue Team and Gold Team Play Football Game, Reports Area Girlfriend
EVANSTON—A team wearing blue uniforms and a team wearing gold uniforms played a football game last Sunday, according to SESP senior Cailey Rapp. “There was a bunch of running involved,” explained Rapp, whose boyfriend Ezra Dowd is a diehard gold team fan. “At one point, all the men in the room started yelling,” explained Rapp, “but I didn’t see what happened because I was busy texting my girls.” The dedicated girlfriend explained that her favorite part of the experience was,