At long last, once the new Lakefill is constructed, students will be able to easily access Gary, Indiana for a long-overdue new college town experience.
Tag Archives: Lakefill
Thousands of students convened on the Lakefill Friday night for President Morton Schapiro’s much-anticipated mystery announcement. Said Schapiro: “After considering our budget allocations, we realized that we weren’t putting enough towards our students’ mental health. That’s why we’re encouraging students to clear their heads with walk along the beautiful Lake Michigan; which will now be a nature-filled forty-three mile stretch. Go ‘Cats!” Clamorous applause and cheering erupted instantly the moment Schapiro yanked the curtain off his scale model of “Lakefill
McCormick sophomore Laura Russo has been reported missing since last Thursday. She was last seen at 5:30 PM on the lakefill, napping peacefully in a perfectly innocuous woven hammock.
‘I’m sure there’s more on there that we never found,’ reported Danica Jackson, SoC ’20, ‘but after we cleared off “Raccoon Hurricane 2019” and “Reagan’s Back!” we started to wonder if this was a good idea.’
“She just looked at me and said, ‘Deal with the grade you got or you’ll end up like the last one.’”
“You tell yourself that you’ll be different. That you can break the mold and keep studying.” he added. “But I’ve got news for everyone out there: you’re wrong. Don’t become another statistic.”
Inspired by some unknown ambition, she stripped stark nude, approached the stranger, and demanded, “Draw me like one of your French girls!”
Hours after making Wednesday’s announcement that guest wristband distribution has been suspended, Mayfest clarified their statement to reflect the fact that they have no wristbands left at all.
THE INTERNET — The Northwestern University Class of 2017 Facebook group saw a three-hundred percent increase in activity this past week when soul-searching accepted student Alyssa Gianonne asked the deep and philosophical question preoccupying every early-decision applicant’s mind: “So what’s everyone, like, MOST excited for next year?” Gianonne commented on her own post thirty seconds later explaining that marching through the historic campus arch, erected in 1993, is something that she predicts will be life changing. Within minutes, Gianonne’s post
EVANSTON – Two prospective students and their helicopter parents died Tuesday during a tour of Northwestern. The tragedy occurred after Mrs. Maddie Lees, 46, and Ms. Rebecca Schlessinger, 48, started asking a series of questions about standardized test scores that spun out of control. Mrs. Lees started to lose control when she learned that SAT IIs were recommended, but not required, even though she personally paid for a private US History tutor and do you know how much those cost.