“When I saw those protesters being beaten up by the NUPD with brown sacks filled with cans of Pepsi, all I could do was wonder how the delicious and refreshing taste of Pepsi could be used for such evil.”
EVANSTON — Northwestern students took to the streets on Thursday after hearing that “Dillo Day,” a cherished drinking and musical school tradition, had been canceled by the City of Evanston. Evanston officials cited the celebration’s notorious reputation for “buffoonery, hooliganism, and excessive levels of smiling,” and added that “New Brunswick had done basically the same thing at Rutgers,” and they certainly weren’t “going to let New Jersey be more civilized.” “OMG Evanston cancelled Dillo?!? Let’s riot! #tisdahlsucks #takebackdillo” tweeted Weinberg
EVANSTON — A riot erupted during Block Ten of Northwestern’s 39th annual Dance Marathon after the sleep-deprived emcees announced that the final block would be extended by an hour due to Daylight Saving Time. Daylight Saving Time, when clocks move forward an hour on the second Sunday of March, caused Dancer Relations to miscount the amount of time remaining in the thirty-hour charity event. “At first I thought I was just disillusioned from the lack of sleep,” said first time
MARSEILLE, FRANCE—French rioters, upset over proposed austerity measures that would see them working an additional 2 years before retirement, have taken to waking up at 10AM to prove just how serious they really are. “It’s all about the precedent,” 26-year-old government notary Paul Mailloux told me over a breakfast of freshly-baked breads and pastries as we sat down on the terrace of his high-rise apartment, enjoying the gorgeous view of Marseille’s famous Jardin des Vestiges. “If we give them a
It’s like “special” brownies, but the cookie version.