In True Show Of Solidarity With Students, Dearborn Observatory Also About To Collapse
“In unprecedented times like this, it’s nice to know that the observatory feels us.”
Tag Archives: Student
Local Man’s Quirky Zoom Background Not Enough To Save His Failing Grade
“I don’t know who he thinks he’s impressing. It was sorta funny the first week of class, but now it’s just pathetic,” said concerned classmate John Masters.
Area Student Wearing Propeller Hat in Zoom Lecture “Doing Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?”
“It’s like she used this tired gimmick to distract us from how self-isolation is deteriorating her mental health,” said her classmate Darrell Jamison, RTVF ‘22. “The propeller looks pretty funny, but I’m not laughing. I’m concerned.”
Freshman Just Referred to Professor as His “Teacher”
“There’s no way I can associate with him anymore. We’re in college now, bro. We have professors, not teachers. It’s just so childish,” said Jacob Villanueva, before heelying away.
Stray Arm Dangerously Close to Becoming Raised Hand
“If Neal keeps resting his arm on the seat next to him without clearly propping up his head with his fist or something, then it’s only a matter of time before the professor asks him if he has a question.”
Student Asks Italian Professor for Extension on Day of Daughter’s Wedding
“It’s bad luck for a Sicilian to refuse any request on his daughter’s wedding day.”
Lonely Freshman Wonders Why No One Posting in PA GroupMe Anymore
“Everyone was making hilarious jokes and plans to get bubble tea, but now anytime I ask them to get dinner, it’s like I’m shouting into a void.”
Seismologists Detect Signs that Dormant Student Might Wake Up Soon
“We have sufficient reason to believe the long-dormant student will emerge from slumber imminently,” lead scientist Veronica Tyson said at a press conference today. “Also, his alarm has been going off for the past 20 minutes.”
Asshole Student Group Paints Over Emotionally Charged Message on Rock with Lame Advertisements for their Stupid Club
What kind of dicks paint over a racially significant message with white paint?