Tag Archives: University

Anthro Major Studies Northwestern Students Studying

EVANSTON – Weinberg senior Allison Dinker has discovered that Northwestern students are a “disgusting and lazy breed of humans.” The anthropology major is currently writing her dissertation on a culture never before studied academically, NU students. She is conducting her research at the Northwestern University Library. Dinker began her research last Spring, when she was studying for finals at the library. “I noticed that someone had etched some strange glyphs that spelled ‘ORGO SUX DIX’ into the desk in Study

NU Students Sue University for Misuse of Word “Spring”

EVANSTON—In a press release issued late last week, a previously unknown coalition of Northwestern students from California and Florida announced that they would be suing the University for “misuse of the word ‘spring’.” This legal action comes after the discovery that weather during Spring Quarter was neither warm nor sunny. “It’s just not fair,” whined a member of the group who spoke to The Flipside on condition of anonymity. “When I saw the words ‘Spring Quarter,’ I assumed that it