EARTH – According to a recent report issued by scientific journals, current events periodicals, supermarket tabloids, internet bloggers, the Federal Reserve, and the US Department of Transportation, planet Earth is a really fucking depressing place to live. Drawing from a sample size of over 6 billion people, the report found corruption, narcissism, violence, and willful ignorance to be rampant without exception in every environment settled by human beings. Although these predispositions were only observed in approximately 23% of the global