Johnson decided to step into the ring with the furry three-and-a-half-year-old, saying that he’ll be “coming to Sesame Street to kick ass and eat cookies, and he’s all out of cookies”
Older relatives across the United States are expanding their horizons.
After the wildly unsuccessful “Bay of Pigs Internship Program”, it’s only natural that administration is tightening their application requirements.
“Oh, I totally intend to use this,” Ruben said when questioned about the fire axe resting on her lap. “Nobody is going to keep my three weeks’ worth of sweatpants out any longer.”
The Air Force, Navy, and Army football games were put into jeopardy due to the government shutdown that began last Tuesday. The upcoming match in Syria will continue the rivalry between the Army and nearly every team in the MEC (Middle Eastern Conference).
WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden may have instigated World War III last night during a last-minute campaign stop at Georgetown University. The gaffe-prone politician was delivering a short speech encouraging students to vote when he accidentally declared war on Iran. “We’re still not entirely sure what happened,” White House aide Michael Howard explained. “One minute he’s reading from a prepared statement about the Founding Fathers and the next he’s assembling the Joint Chiefs of Staff to authorize a pre-emptive