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Morty Exchanges 200 Dave & Busters Tickets for Wildcats Nightlight

April 24, 2017 Michael Miller Leave a comment

While giddily walking away from the prize counter, Northwestern president Morton Schapiro told reporters today that he had exchanged 200 Dave & Busters tickets for a Wildcats nightlight. “I’m a really big Northwestern sports fan, so I’m super excited to have my very own Wildcats nightlight. Oh boy!” Morty exclaimed. Morty reportedly earned the 200 tickets over several hours playing Skee-Ball, whack-a-mole, and pop-a-shot basketball. He was chaperoned around the venue by members of the Board of Trustees. “You should

Read more Featured, Headline, Local, No. 222

OPINION: I Could Husk Corn at the Age of 3

October 18, 2014 Jordan Villanueva Leave a comment

When I was three years old, my Pa-Paw handed me a bucket of corn and told me to get to work. I’d never done this before, but three-year-old me picked it right up.

Concussed Football Player Shows up to Press Conference Six Days Late

February 4, 2014 Flippy Leave a comment

“Such a nice boy, even if his brain is a little mushy. Oh well, it’s not like anyone ever forced him to play football,” said head custodian Alexander Jones.

Northwestern Athletic Department to Change “Wildcats” to “Investment Bankers”

November 11, 2013 Brian Capella Leave a comment

“There are many universities whose teams’ names fully encapsulate everything their students aspire to be—the Cornhuskers of Nebraska, the Volunteers of Tennessee, and the dumb-as-nuts Buckeyes of The Ohio State University,” commented Jim Phillips, Vice President for Athletics and Recreation.

Ezra Pound: “I Really Admire Your Wildcat Spirit”

October 19, 2013 Alex N. Gordon Leave a comment

A sea of purple shirts, without interruption or impurity, all rallying around the leadership of the great Pat Fitzgerald – what could be more beautiful? Nothing, I feel.

Freshman to Pursue Acting Career after “Being Discovered” on ESPN College GameDay

October 15, 2013 Drake Sieber Leave a comment

“During those magical two seconds that the College GameDay camera was on me, I felt like I had finally realized my purpose in life,” said Weinberg freshman Horatio Del Toro. “I’d never felt more alive.”

Remembering a Legend

September 27, 2013 Brian Lee Leave a comment

Wildcat Fan Congratulates Field Hockey Player for Her Team’s Success

April 24, 2013 Brian Earl Leave a comment

EVANSTON — When Bienen sophomore Kayla Toussmann found out that Emily DeGrout, her fellow sophomore and classmate in Italian 101-3, was on the field hockey team, she felt excited to be in the presence of such a successful athlete. “The field hockey team, like, never loses,” said Toussmann. “It’s the one sport our school is actually good at! When Emily told me, ‘Gioco a hockey su prato’—‘I play field hockey’—I was all like, ‘Oh mio dio! Questo è fantastico! Congratulazioni!’”

Sorority’s BYE Game Tailgate a “Big Success”

November 3, 2012 Brian Earl Leave a comment

EVANSTON — Delta Delta Delta Delta reported to The Flipside that their tailgate before Saturday’s football game was a “big success.” Chapter president Andrea Gulotta bubbled, “There were so many people there! We had some drinks, played a little catch, grilled on the porch. We sure showed BYE that the Wildcats are for real this year. Go ‘Cats!” Although Gulotta was unable to recall the exact score of the game—she said she left Ryan Field around halftime—she was sure Northwestern