EVANSTON—In an unwitting display of complete factual accuracy, a McCormick senior proclaimed that Rainbow Week was “gay” on Friday. Chad Block, a mid-forward on the Ultimate Frisbee team, was examining a Norris bulletin board when he made his truthful declaration.
“Man, how gay is that shit?” he said to Joe “Broseph” Leibowitz, a senior rugby hooker.
Leibowitz was shocked. He commented that this is one of the first times he’s seen Block use vocabulary correctly.
“He’s not so good with words. Last week, he described a girl’s body as penultimate and concurrent. English isn’t really his strong suit,” he said.
Block’s parents couldn’t be happier with his unprecedented verbal success. After observing his struggles with general vocabulary and spelling all of his life, his parents see this as a step in the right direction.
“He always had problems with language arts,” said Shirley Block, Chad’s mother. “Through elementary school, he had trouble spelling even simple words, preferring z’s to s’s. Then, in high school, he stopped using the the long o unless it was accompanied by br. Instead of thoughts, he had bropinions; instead of a team player, he was brooperative; instead of Neptune, it was Broseidon. You get the idea.”
She’s hoping this development might lead to an English minor or, less ambitiously, an elementary grasp on the English language.
Whether this breakthrough will lead to further strides in basic communication skills remains to be seen. After the identification, Block went on to less accurate descriptions of A&O productions and Intramural Volleyball as “homorrific,” so improvement is by no means certain.