Northwestern Facing Heterophobia Epidemic
Although specific phobias affect about 12 percent of the general population, heterophobia is spreading at an unprecedented rate.
Although specific phobias affect about 12 percent of the general population, heterophobia is spreading at an unprecedented rate.
The Flipside has recovered this post from Northwesternās āFree & For Saleā Facebook group after the Admissions Office hacked the userās profile.
Willow: I mean Iām just doing what I do, and I donāt know how to not do what I do, but if they had Willo day or something, I would definitely do what I do here on that specific day.
āThe word āBrownsā simply has too many negative connotations. Itās not just that the color is synonymous with dirt and filth. We donāt want people to think that our league hates both Indians and Indians!ā
āThose Greek letter earwarmers will have to go because they discriminate against earless people. Earless-Americans are a proud group that has too often been marginalized in Greek life here.ā
After drawing lots, the starving group members were forced to kill and eat Samuel Crafice, Donnerās twenty-threeāyear-old coworker.
Senior captain Brandon Vitabile commented on the unfortunate situation. āI canāt believe it. To come all this way only to find out it was all for nothing.”
“He gave such an outstanding insight into our topic that I immediately felt guilty about all of the times I devalued his academic worth.”
It appears that these two organizations have secretly joined forces with the Dementors of Azkaban to foster gloominess among the students at Northwestern.
Community mourns beloved lemur. Contemplates death and 90’s childhood.