EVANSTON—Civilians rejoiced on Wednesday after learning that vice president elect Hiro Kawashima had in fact saved Claire “The Cheerleader” Lew from the clutches of the sinister Alessio “Sylar” Manti. “Yatta!” exclaimed a delighted Kawashima as he stood next to the uninjured Lew, “I wish I could stop time right in this very moment.”
Things were looking grim for Claire and Hiro yesterday after Manti made a promise to “inherit the thoughts of [current President] Mike McGee.” He claimed that he was “stronger than ever” and that “no one can stop me now, not even you, Claire.” McGee has not been seen since.
Kawashima explained the thrilling 24 hours that followed to The Flipside: “I was ready to give up until my future self reminded me: Save the Cheerleader, save the world, save ASG. That’s when I knew I had to help her.”
The tumultuous final battle seemed to be tilting toward Manti and his running mate Adam Thompson-Harvey after Manti drove an incisive listserv email through Lew’s heart. However, she was able to recover, and with the help of both Kawashima and NU President Morton Shapiro (whose ability to fly proved invaluable), Claire was able to triumph.
“I’m glad they won,” said Medill junior Sarah Renner, “I just hope they don’t get significantly worse next season… I mean, quarter.”