Morty To Become Fourth Jonas Brother In Order To Reduce Debt

Although the announcement of a Jonas Brothers reunion elicited squeals of delight from fangirls nationwide, a new revelation has inspired less enthusiastic reactions. Morty Schapiro, president of Northwestern University, is reportedly becoming the fourth Jonas Brother in hopes of easing the university’s debilitating debt. Keightlynne Johnson, a Northwestern sophomore who writes fanfiction under the name “Ɛ>\ilovejonasbrothers/<3” expressed her hesitance to devote herself to Morty as zealously as she does to the other three Jonas brothers. “I’ve spent years writing about