I mean, just look at the names. There’s the Amazon Foundation, which I own, and then there’s the capital T The Amazon Foundation, which is about some big jungle in Mexico or something.Read More
The CEO Outback Steakhouse denies all wrong-doing, claiming each time that the dishes were just “the marketing team having fun with alliteration” and had no relation to current events.
Some of America’s most coveted cultural traditions find their roots in a handful of these Burger King locales.
The conflict most likely started when Jeremy Jones – the third-stickiest member of his kindergarden class – accidentally wiped his boogers inside the tree where Snuggles usually stores his acorns.
“First margarine and now this? I didn’t serve two years in the military, get dishonorably discharged, and move back in with my parents just for someone to confuse me with a quadruple negative!”
While we cannot currently provide video, audio, or photographic evidence that this has happened, we do have blue hairs we cut off our intern that probably look like Sonic’s luscious mane.
“All we know is we have a sombrero-wearing pineapple-duck who looks like he stuck a fork in a light socket. Maybe we’ll never know the full story.”
Urkel has been locked 24/7 in a small, heavily guarded cell in a classified location, but his lawyers have reported that he’s enthusiastic that he’ll get off because “there’s always the next episode”.
“A din’t mean tae cause no ‘arm. A was jes’ ‘avin’ a bad dae!”
“I never thought this would happen, dude,” lamented Burt McDover, who looked after Post Malone’s head lice. “Posty said he just wanted to try taking a quick shower because all his buddies did it every day. It’s the newest trend, you know?”