Famous for its groundbreaking junction of education, music, and, um, junctions, the iconic educational institute Schoolhouse Rock has come under fire for its recent book ban. The administration has begun removing a variety of books from shelves that they have deemed to be harmful to the student body, including To Kill a Mockingbird and “Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your LGBTQ+ Here.” In a press conference on Tuesday, the Principal of Schoolhouse Rock, Dr. Justin A. Bill, stated, “Our children should
Category Archives: Business
After his first ten years in the Shadow Lands between human consciousness and the turbulent, virus-ridden hivemind underscoring the entire known universe, the Hat Man even returned to Bain for six months as an executive recruiter.
From The Prehistoric Archives: OOGA OOGA ROAR The Existence Of A Capitalist State Relies Fundamentally On The Exploitation Of Those Who Participate But Are Not Allowed To Excel In The System Governing Their Lives
DINOSAUR GO! One must question the system I expect we shall soon find ourselves operating beneath — a system in which the oligarchs of society control the upper echelon outside of the laws binding those beneath them.
This November, prepare your minds and loins for Trojan Airport: the only aphrodisiac that simulates the untapped sexual desire of seeing a person the same age as you at an airport.
stated Ye in an Instagram caption. “I’VE PARTNERED WITH THE PEOPLE OVER AT TOOTHTUNES FOR AN EXCLUSIVE DONDA 3 LISTENING EXPERIENCE ONLY TO BE ENJOYED FOR 2 MINUTES TWICE A DAY.”
Figora and Northwestern are not afraid to stand down in the face of danger
“We are always looking for more ways to engage the student body in capitalist brainwashing.”
“We are requiring BrewBike to close its stores in Evanston immediately because it is not essential now nor has it ever been essential”
They say that if you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day, but if you purchase a local Walmart franchise you effectively own all the fish within a two-mile radius.
In all honesty, I don’t know what ComEd is. I think it’s something to do with carpentry.