stated Ye in an Instagram caption. “I’VE PARTNERED WITH THE PEOPLE OVER AT TOOTHTUNES FOR AN EXCLUSIVE DONDA 3 LISTENING EXPERIENCE ONLY TO BE ENJOYED FOR 2 MINUTES TWICE A DAY.”
Category Archives: Business
Figora and Northwestern are not afraid to stand down in the face of danger
“We are always looking for more ways to engage the student body in capitalist brainwashing.”
“We are requiring BrewBike to close its stores in Evanston immediately because it is not essential now nor has it ever been essential”
They say that if you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day, but if you purchase a local Walmart franchise you effectively own all the fish within a two-mile radius.
In all honesty, I don’t know what ComEd is. I think it’s something to do with carpentry.
On International Women’s Day, Boss Made Sure to Call female Co-workers “Sweetie” to Let Them Know How Valued They Are
On International Women’s Day, local boss Mitchell Dawson made sure to call his female coworkers “sweetie” throughout the day.
Greg Arridal announced that he was partnering with Morty Shapiro to start accepting Dining Dollars at his store and within the same day, every student had burned through all their dining dollars, and Arridal went out of stock within 3 hours.
“Please, I have delivered on my part. Let me hold my son, Zachariah ‘Zac-Attack’ Zuckerman, again. Let me see my wife, Zora Zelda Zuckerman. I even made you #15 in Best Value Schools, right above the University of Chicago!”
A tapestry depicting the crushing of a philosophy major’s dreams under the boot of market forces has already been put up in the faculty lounge on the third floor.