On January 6th, he had a chance to show off his gaming skills as he speedran right through the Capitol gates and clutched the 1v1 against the Capitol police.
Author Archives: John Jameson
I Was Born in the Wrong Generation Says Area Man with Pronounced Browline and Penchant for Hunting Mammoths
“Kids today, only want iPhone and hot chip. No appreciation for flint knapping or nomadic lifestyle,” said Stonespear while eying my processed food nervously.
“Trust us, no one knows how to terrorize minorities like us. If this was a hate crime, we would be the first to know.”
If you want to see a man’s face light up, get him something that will leave his legs shaking and booty aching.
After all, any NU student worth their salt knows the old adage: “more hose, more woes.”
After hunting the sounds of moccasins and fur-lined jean jackets for all of 3 minutes, I found myself standing in what can only be described as a Tame Impala tailgate.
“Actually, War Crimes Require a Formal Declaration of War. What We do Are Just Run-of-the-Mill Human Rights Violations” Says Department of Defense
“Semantically speaking, war crimes requires a war, and we have not formally declared war since the 1940s.”
“I got a vaccine plug from a buddy of mine in Kappa Delta Moderna, and I was just looking to get lit, get wild, and vaccinate some shawties,”
This new line of shampoo claims to offer the same gentle cleaning and exfoliating properties of regular shampoo, without any of the life-threatening circulatory issues.
“It’s just not manly, real men are strong warriors! A man in a dress couldn’t protect his family!”