He Had to Do WHAT to WHO? John Wilkes Booth’s WILD Fantasy Football Punishment
Spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, get a tattoo of your friend’s choosing, or perform at an open mic. These are some of the most popular fantasy football punishments for the poor saps who finish last in their league, but once upon a time a man made the news for his WILD punishment. And you’ll never guess what he did or who he did it to.
John Wilkes Booth was just a regular joe competing in his local fantasy football league, “Stars, Bars, and Yards,” with his bros. Unfortunately for him, his team met a similar fate to the Confederate Army and was blown out of the water by his competition. Apparently, his quarterback contracted polio and his tight end was killed at Gettysburg. Either way, Booth found himself at the bottom of the leaderboard, and was subjected to punishment from his friends. That year, his friends had thought of a special punishment: assassinate Abraham Lincoln in the Ford Theater. Bound by the laws of bro code, and goaded by his brother calling him a pansy, John Wilkes Booth grabbed his derringer pistol and set out to complete his task.
Hours later, Barstool Confederates circulated images of the assassin carrying out his punishment and fleeing the scene. Despite being the most wanted man in America, Booth said he was looking forward to next season with his best friend Gavrilo Princip. In a post-assassination interview, Booth smiled and said he had a special punishment lined up for his friend.