Local Student Cashes In Childhood State Quarter Collection To Buy Plan B
As it turned out, one entire book of state quarters doesn’t even cover a Plan B pill, even if the Michigan quarter is from 1962.
Category Archives: Featured
As Climate Crisis Intensifies, Jonas Brothers Re-Release Hit Song As “Year 2100″
The new track features a sick freestyle verse from Greta Thunberg, remixed over the death wails of a choking sea turtle.
New York High Schoolers Compete to Date DiCaprio: “We Need Someone to Buy Us Beer”
“We needed someone to buy us beer,” said Josie Cuervo, a junior. at Stuyvesant High School. “Then my friends and I heard Leo DiCaprio was sniffing around for younger women to date. Seemed to me like this might be the beginning of a beautiful partnership.”
Bribery, Groveling, and 3 Other Ways to Get Off the Waitlist for That Class You Need to Graduate
The odds that your professor has done something problematic that has ended up online are incredibly high. All you need to do is find the evidence.
Op-Ed: In A World Full Of “Tits Or Ass,” Be A Lymph Nodes Guy
Cause you see, I’ve seen you men. You men, who mock your beautiful girlfriends and their Korean skincare collections, their pimple patches and their salicylic acid serums. And one day, when she’s had enough of you dipping into her Olaplex budget to buy battle passes, she’s going to look to someone who understands her. Someone who cares that Glossier just got added to Sephora. Someone that will, oh, I don’t know, rub her neck when she’s stressed out.
Director Christopher Nolan Releases 5th Chinese Spy Balloon in Order to Create a World War III Film Without CGI
Nolan said that the new movie will, “be 3 hours long, feature Cillian Murphy, and require 6 rewatches just to grasp the plot.”
CAPS, ZenLeaf Merge To Launch “Just Touch Grass” Campaign
Students who can’t turn that frown upside down after 3 CAPS appointments will receive vouchers for free flower.
NU Football Coach Forces Players to Attend Basketball Game to “See What Being Cheered for Looks Like”
According to Northwestern’s football coach, this torture was deliberate. During the off-season, he has turned to emotional tactics to try and get the Northwestern football team out of their slump.
Northwestern Administration Temporarily Suspends Community Bonding Activities After “Netflix and Schill” Backlash
“We begged him to leave. We pounded on the doors and shouted. But he just kept smiling. He constantly told us to quiet down because ‘this episode has a musical number.’
Inspired by Disney World, Local Hospitals add Lightning Lane for a Small Premium
Lightning Lane is also available through a subscription service called Insurance+, priced at around $8,000 a year. However, Insurance+ is not available to people with preexisting conditions, on high patient capacity days, or on holidays.