Ouagadougou and Other Cute New Baby Names Inspired by Country Capitals
For the next baby boom, here are names sure to capture the hearts and minds of millennials in the first world.
Author Archives: Natalie Roots-Nowakowski
The ScrubFamily is Pregnant!
The ScrubDaddy is the greatest thing to grace this Earth since the SquattyPotty which is the greatest thing since air conditioning. When God created Daddy, soap squirted and bubbles blew. That was long ago, but more recently, ScrubDaddy found his Eve. ScrubMommy is a straight-up hottie. Pretty and usually pink. When she’s not, that’s okay; all colors are welcome. She has Daddy’s original scrubber, but also a sponge side because women are the modded version of men. She’s dual-sided because
Putin Responds to Biden’s Murder Allegations by Buying Him
Tension has been brewing between these two leaders for awhile, and not the ideal kind.
Diplomatic Agreement Reached: Piece of King Charles’ Enlarged Prostate to be Displayed in Egyptian Museum
As King Charles sat on his secondary throne staring at his massive dick, he thought to himself, “Oi mate, those jolly blokes near the pyramids deserve a wank of me knickers.” With that decree, he contacted President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi to confirm the exchange.
GTA 6 Will Feature Politically-Correct Strippers
After building a foundation of communication free of gaslighting, you and your escort (who requires payment greater than quadruple the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour) can finally get down and dirty.
Democracy Going Strong: Hammurabi’s Code Voted To Replace The Constitution
Finally, a system that’s genuinely for the people.
Health Center Drops New Fun Fall Condom Flavors
You can really taste the layers. The coolness of the ice cream, the depth of the dough, and the crunch of the apple incites feelings — sexual ones.
Men Beg for Breast Milk to be Available in Plex East
“You have no idea how much it costs my mommy to ship 3 gallons of milk a week. It takes a lot out of her.”
Bring Back Pangea!: And Other Forgotten Landmass Advocacy Campaigns
Northwestern’s newest club, Bring Back Pangea! has taken campus by storm.