Author Archives: Natalie Roots-Nowakowski

The Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. Welcome Center is a Multi-Faceted Venue: Here’s How to Host All Your Biggest Bashes at this Home Away from Home

The JRBJWC (gerb-jawk), as cool-kids are referring to it, announced it’s opening all four sets of its doors to travelers hoping to host gatherings at the spectacular venue. This is a guide of how to make sure your most important life events get the recognition they deserve at this wonder of the modern world. Wedding             Have the fairytale moment you deserve and kiss your forever love under the Dunkin Donuts awning. We recommend renting luxurious Greyhound party buses to

Student Found Sobbing After Astronomy Midterm: “I’M A FUCKING SCORPIO, OKAY?”

Lost in the backrooms of Tech, student Aurora Borealis was found breaking down on floor 2, wing Z, hallway θ, inlet ♥, in closet ✴. After being carted to the nearest CAPS office, she admitted what was troubling her: her recent astronomy exam. Unfortunately, there were no zodiac sign questions in sight for this solemn Scorpio. Even after Professor Smutko had made it abundantly clear on day one that it would not be an astrology class, some people were too