Category Archives: Nation

Pfizer Reports Vaccine Effective For 90% of People! Other 10% Contract Chlamydia.

Over the last 8 months, the world has anxiously awaited the development of a cure for COVID-19. However, Pfizer has announced a new vaccine that successfully protects 90% of all people who take it against COVID-19. While many see this as the end-all to coronavirus, others are skeptical over the efficacy of the vaccine. “Ever since I signed up to test the vaccine, my balls have been itching”, said Jay Mast, who asked to remain anonymous, “at first I thought

Purell Fandom “Displeased” With Culture Going Mainstream

In recent months, the FDA has released several warnings about certain hand sanitizer companies producing faulty content. This downgrade in average quality of hand sanitizer has concerned epidemiologists and doctors alike, but most perturbed are longtime self-proclaimed members of the hand sanitizer fandom. “It’s just disappointing,” said Sandy Teiser, 33. “Even my son, who would never wash his hands when told—let alone use soap—now carries five bottles of half-rate hand sanitizer everywhere he goes. There’s no way to distinguish between

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