Author Archives: Adam Leif

Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog! Goofy Trapped In Industrial Oven At Keebler Factory

Goofy, the beloved ensemble member of Disney’s Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and various other properties, has been trapped inside of an industrial oven at the Keebler Factory. The titular performer and father of one called 911 at 8:32 A.M this morning, emergency services shared. This strange circumstance follows weeks of tension and political hostility in Florida, where Governor Ron DeSantis has attempted to uproot the Walt Disney Company by removing their tax exempt status and arresting a Stitch mascot, who was

Disney Adult Disaster: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Scroogepublicans Suspend Two Daisycratic Representatives Over Mouseketool Protest Participation

“It’s not fair to think that taking away people’s rights to a Mouseketool is justified,” Scroogepublican Speaker of the House Cameron Pete said. “I mean, sure, they’ve led to the deaths of thousands upon thousands of both children and adults. But what’s that in comparison to sweet, sweet Benjamins lining my pockets? Those uppity Daisycrats should learn some respect for our fine governing body — and the financial benefactors whose gracious hand controls all policy.” 

From The Prehistoric Archives: OOGA OOGA ROAR The Existence Of A Capitalist State Relies Fundamentally On The Exploitation Of Those Who Participate But Are Not Allowed To Excel In The System Governing Their Lives

DINOSAUR GO! One must question the system I expect we shall soon find ourselves operating beneath — a system in which the oligarchs of society control the upper echelon outside of the laws binding those beneath them.

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