“Long ago, our ancestors bided their time by their schools’ washing machines, riding out spin cycle after spin cycle in the hopes that their perfect match would need to wash their delicates and fill a void in their life too.”
A #shirtlessGibby trend has gone viral on TikTok with tweens imitating this war cry in varying degrees of undress and sweatiness. The trend has become so popular, some Gen Z scholars have even dubbed it “the next planking.”
Mansplainers were able to educate people on a vast range of topics including “what a riot really is,” “the legal nuance behind insurrection,” and “who actually controls the stock market.”
“My face is flakier than Northwestern’s male population, and my knees and elbows are so cracked that James Franco could get trapped down there for 127 hours.”
“We got a little too excited, I slipped on some frozen geese shit, fell onto the rocks, and that was that.”
Hey, Bradleigh Jenkins, remember me from first grade? Still think your hunky dad could beat mine?
The godless abominations have tongues, so they clearly consume some sort of food.
“My dad claimed that he is a cicada and that he needed to hibernate for 17 years.”
My mom said my film was “a nice effort.” You’re telling me my mom has bad taste?
Upon hearing that the same Riverdale team would be handling all writing and production, head writer Timothy Prost fell to the floor and immediately burst into tears.