Op-Ed: As A Disabled-By-Choice Transgender Bisexual Hijabi Anglophone Quebecois, I Think Trump Is Doing A Pretty Good Job

Comrades,I never thought I’d say this, but lately I find myself nodding—hijab and all—at policy speechesthe reactionary francophone bourgeoise tell me I’m supposed to hate. As a disabled-by-choice,transgender bisexual hijabi anglophone QuĆ©bĆ©cois, I’ve slaved to create an attention-grabbingand deeply flawed political identity, and now I think I’ve found my soulmate.Take trade, for instance. I’ve long opposed free trade agreements because of how they exploit thedomestic proletariat and raise oat milk prices, so when a politician finally started talking abouttariffs, I

From the California Gold Rush (1849): “I Ain’t Sayin She’s a Gold Sifter, Ezekiel, But She Only Wants You for Your Fancy Pantaloons!”

I knew from the moment that Mary Elizabeth first laid her greedy eyes on the fake pearl buttons on your trousers in Fort Laramie that a gold-sifter was about to enter our lives. In that moment, she realized she had found her ticket to all the wealth of the west, because she found the kind of buster that would spend a whole half-dollar on some pantaloons.

Perry the Platypus Sees His Shadow, 6 More Weeks of Nefarious Scheming To Come

Just earlier this year, the mad man’s antics included creating
a device that would disable all electric vehicle batteries and force commuters to overload
Danville’s poor public transport systems, brainwashing pigeons into stealing people’s jewelry
and bringing it to him, and infecting the city’s water supply with cholera.