“This is my dream school it’s sooo beautiful here,” incoming Weinberg freshman Meadow Deering posted to her Snapchat, accompanied by a photo of a particularly nice path next to Norris.
Many students were indignant after one of his playlists was revealed to be named “Songs to listen to while my admin guts student org funding <3.” The playlist included songs such as “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift and “Bad” by Michael Jackson.
In response to Northwestern’s historically low acceptance rate this year, the administration has taken drastic measures regarding how they will hand out the coveted, and now very minimal, class of 2026 spots to those on the waitlist.
The statement claimed that the editors of the paper had experienced a “severe lapse in judgment” and that they were “listening and learning” from their “oopsie-daisy uh-oh spaghettio 😢” (emoji included in the statement).
“If I get arrested one more time, my parents are gonna cut my allowance to only 5k a month.”
Northwestern prides itself on being very accessible and accommodating students’ needs, no matter what they are. However, one student’s recent accommodation has administration racing to research this unique condition. “I’m allergic to any dorms that don’t rhyme with Kincoln or Lemper,” a rising sophomore claimed. The student further explained that he needs to be placed in dorms that specifically fit this designation, or else there would be serious consequences. “I would probably spontaneously combust,” the student said, when asked what
To be frank, you need to let go of this aesthetic in your mind. Your man is not cottagecore, he is an engineer.
Let it be known that The Flipside is vocally For-Fapping.
In a press conference, President Michael Schill expressed surprise at the criticism.
“…thin goes for the win.”