Category Archives: Local

Investigation Uncovers University President Michael Schill’s Spotify Account Featuring Playlists Titled “songs to listen to while my administration guts student org funding <3" and "sCHILL vibes"

Many students were indignant after one of his playlists was revealed to be named “Songs to listen to while my admin guts student org funding <3.” The playlist included songs such as “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift and “Bad” by Michael Jackson.

Northwestern Student’s Unique Accommodation: “I’m Allergic To Any Dorms That Don’t Rhyme With Kincoln Or Lemper”

Northwestern prides itself on being very accessible and accommodating students’ needs, no matter what they are. However, one student’s recent accommodation has administration racing to research this unique condition. “I’m allergic to any dorms that don’t rhyme with Kincoln or Lemper,” a rising sophomore claimed. The student further explained that he needs to be placed in dorms that specifically fit this designation, or else there would be serious consequences. “I would probably spontaneously combust,” the student said, when asked what

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