“Yeah, they told me the heater didn’t work because of some kind of gas leak. In my opinion, the kids we rent to these days are pretty entitled,” Johnston commented, stepping over a flaming support beam. “When I’m cold at home, I just put on a sweater. And when I’m hot, I fan myself with a nice, thick stack of Benjamins.”
Category Archives: Local
While EPD has concluded that the lamb’s blood mark was “no threat to person or property” in the neighborhood, forensics experts will still “thoroughly investigate the area for signs of lice, flies, locusts, and corpses of firstborn children.”
Your mom’s house is proving to be an incredibly popular destination with many Northwestern students.
From the Archives: Woe is Me! This Dreadful Winter Has Produced Puddles all Over Campus, But Alas I Have No Gentleman Suitor to Lay His Coat Over so that I May Pass
If only I had worn my green velvet dress to the residential college board’s Christmas party last winter – surely Archibald would have asked for my hand!
Figora and Northwestern are not afraid to stand down in the face of danger
Whenever I see an email from the university, I think about it. Then I decide that I have to do something about it, and that the support of 70 of my peers out of thousands will be a large enough group to bring about change or adequate resistance
Girl Promised “Hamptons Vacation” Shocked When Sugar Daddy’s Prius Pulls Into Hampton Inn Chicago/North Shore
When the car showed up, it was just his son dropping off the Prius after tennis practice – and I started to get really worried.
“It’s like long johns, but longer”
“You are what you eat, you know?” says Beremy Injoux.
Op-ed: Studies Show Seasonal Depression Affects Nearly 99.99% of College Students…Not Me, I Have a SAD Lamp. Y’all Stay Safe Though
I have heard nothing but complaints from my friends about not being able to do their homework, or get out of bed, or take a shower, or look at themselves in the mirror for more than three seconds. But not me! I’m absolutely perfect.