3 hours later she pulls up in her ‘11 Ford Focus RS and parks behind my mom’s Sienna. I let her in, and we sit down on the OFF-WHITE x IKEA couch. I’m playin bass stems off Donda 2 from my Kanye West Stem Player; just straight up babymakin music to get my girl HARD.
Category Archives: Opinion
After the insane number of Zoom lectures that I attended during Covid, I should have died of boredom long ago, but I haven’t.
Op-ed: Regular Social Media Doesn’t Fuel My Superiority Complex Anymore, So You Can Now Only Find Me on Goodreads and Letterboxd
It’s important to me that when people stalk me on the internet they think “Wow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,” and “Do you think she actually followed what was going on in ‘Inception,’ because it kind of seems like it?”
Op-Ed: I put on Beats headphones to walk across campus and now I’m trapped in a commercial where the sidewalks rotate in tempo with my music
The steps of Harris Hall sliced apart like dominoes and did the wave.
Op-ed: Studies Show Seasonal Depression Affects Nearly 99.99% of College Students…Not Me, I Have a SAD Lamp. Y’all Stay Safe Though
I have heard nothing but complaints from my friends about not being able to do their homework, or get out of bed, or take a shower, or look at themselves in the mirror for more than three seconds. But not me! I’m absolutely perfect.
“I don’t cry, but if I did, I would shed one manly tear into my MyPillow pillow.”
Deep down, I know I earned this internship by trading massive amounts of my inheritance on Robinhood every day.
If you want to see a man’s face light up, get him something that will leave his legs shaking and booty aching.
She so brilliantly did a quick WebMD search for me.
Op-Ed: I can’t rewatch Pitch Perfect anymore without envisioning the Barden Bellas being that one a cappella group echoing into the night from Kresge
The scene where the new a cappella recruits dance in the amphitheater is replaced by visions of upperclassmen belting off-key by the Willard piano. The Riff-Off just makes me think of prime time at Norbucks.