Everyone loves that feeling when they have honey all over their hands. I get to have that feeling all the time! Thanks, 5-Gum!
Category Archives: Opinion
The godless abominations have tongues, so they clearly consume some sort of food.
I know that people assume I am a pretentious asshole who is completely full of myself. All of these assumptions are valid.
Op-Ed: I Can’t be the Impostor, I was Filling Out my Daily Symptoms on the Northwestern Symptom Tracker App
Taking advantage of the popularity of Among Us, Northwestern has decided to create a similar game to encourage students to complete tasks that they usually avoid, such as signing up for the NCA career fair.
I found the perfect rainbow tube top at Urban this summer. Ever since then, I’ve been looking for the right pair of funky shorts, to no avail.
What better way, then, to light aflame the hearts and minds of my classmates than by plastering my puckered ass skin all over their laptop screens?
I’ve read other film critics reviews spouting out nonsense about how the movie was a masterful display of how capitalism pits societal classes against each other, but I don’t believe this was really the major point of the film. I understood Bong Joon-ho’s message that middle-aged people who live in their parents’ basement should get the same respect as everyone else.
Op-ed: It’s Not Fair That the “Cool Kids” Also Get to Be the “Hot Ones”, There’s No Temperature Left For the Rest of Us.
The Popular Kids are popular precisely because they’re simultaneously “cool” and “hot”. Well I don’t like that- so for once I’ve decided to support climate change.
Yes, let me assure you, I will certainly not be getting Disney Plus – or, as I think it should be called, Lib-ney Plus!
I would do anything for you, Ricardo – except dance for 30 hours.