Putin Responds to Biden’s Murder Allegations by Buying Him

After President Biden asserted that Vladimir Putin “lowk probz #killed” political activist Alexei Navalny, Vladdy Daddy opened his wallet. He wasn’t gonna take that slander. Tension has been brewing between these two leaders for awhile, and not the ideal kind. This is the last straw. The camel’s legs are giving in as it crumbles to the ground.

Mr. DILF Nalavny has long been hailed as one of Pu-Pu’s most vocal and contentious opposers. Before he died of “natural causes” at the age of 47 in a Siberian prison, Navalny passionately lamented that he “doesn’t fw” the multiple assasination attempts and false imprisonments from the Russian Government. Being a beacon of human rights, and too vegetable-like to control his yapper, Biden immediately snitched and accused Putin of murder.

With his main political opposition out of commission, no one could stop Vlad from reminiscing his KGB days by appearing uninvited. Putin show-stopped at the White House in true Russian oligarchic fashion: naked in a bear-fur coat holding billions of souls and Rubles. He waltzed up to Kamala and exclaimed, “Mother Russia is calling Joe-Joe home.” After putting down a deposit of 2 nuclear warheads, Baby Biden got buckled in his booster seat and the pair took off towards Moscow. Commie-la Harris quickly took the helm.

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