Trump’s speech has been widely regarded as a shining example of political decency and civility. Many are also applauding his masterful turn of phrase and elegant use of language in his speech.
“Neither the size of Powell’s dick in particular nor the horniness of the Eastern Bloc ambassadors more generally should take away from our efforts to provide security and prosperity to the world,” the high school senior said.
The hackers were reportedly able to breach Caesar’s state of the art security measures to check their financial aid statuses, sign up for classes, and print their unofficial transcripts.
“Have you seen Skyfall? No KGB, not even mention. No cabbage for my little girls. Now, I make Mother Russia happy, my girls get cabbage and no one dead. Perfect,” said Ilya Vladikov, a former KGB agent who now works as a freelance filmmaker/assassin.
“The United States is not, has never, and would never cooperate with the Russians on awarding each other higher scores. We would consider conniving with the Germans or Canadians, but we asked them and they refused.”
“It’s just amazing that the Russians still can’t get the easy things right,” said Jim Kelley, a Denver Broncos fan who spent three hours stuck in Secaucus Junction following the conclusion of the Super Bowl.
EVANSTON — Northwestern University announced yesterday the hiring of a new USSR Studies professor, Gary Saul Morson. “We are pleased to be adding this brilliant, up-and-coming scholar to our faculty team,” said President Walter Dill…
JUNEAU, AK—Alaska Governor and former Vice-Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin is suffering from Post-Traumatic Election Tourette’s Syndrome, say doctors at Juneau Central Medical Center. The Governor was rushed to the hospital from her hometown of Wasilla…