Symptoms include, but are not limited to, homelessness, an intense phobia of the word “clips,” and excessive fatigue. JR can also cause unnecessary moving expenses and in some patients an effective guarantee of missing Dillo Day.
Athletes like Wilson, however, who are either introverted, in committed relationships back home, or sixteen-year-old figure skating prodigies, are happy to merely get laid a couple dozen times during their trip.
Asked if it was possible the machines were simply malfunctioning, she responded, “Absolutely not. This sort of thing has been happening for years. If it were a service issue, certainly it would have been fixed already, right?”
“I had been planning to slack off the rest of my time here,” said McIntosh. “But when I saw that sign, I realized I need to take responsibility for my own life.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it before. People who have never met before today are all lovey-dovey with each other.”
This week in “Ask the Flipside,” Percy the Gay Stoner tackles questions about the hottest places to go on Valentine’s Day and the best way to look attractive during the winter.