Confused Freshman Searches for Food in Elder Dining Hall
Reportedly, a confused Sterling decided to start wandering through Elder Dining Hall under the mistaken assumption that there was food in Elder Dining Hall.
Category Archives: Issue 206
New ASG Senator Thinks He Can Make a Difference
“I’ve heard all about last year when they passed important resolutions on Sodexo and had a contested election; if that kind of stuff can happen, then surely ASG is a force to be reckoned with.”
Russian Hackers Successfully Log in to Caesar
The hackers were reportedly able to breach Caesar’s state of the art security measures to check their financial aid statuses, sign up for classes, and print their unofficial transcripts.
Op-Ed: Halloween Not as Scary as Your Family’s Expectations
At least Leatherface doesn’t care how your last interview went.
Northwestern Secondary to Dress Up as Good Secondary for Halloween
“It sucks when you’re the unit holding the team back. Halloween is the one day of the year when anybody can be anything – dreams can come true.”
Area Freshman Blushing after Being Asked to Dance Marathon
He has already texted his parents about his date, and he hopes to get coffee on the Lakefill with her before it freezes over.