“At first, I didn’t mind, since I’m tremendously committed to school spirit.”
Category Archives: Year 14
“I wouldn’t have minded more Kleenex, and maybe a little bit of Prozac, but I can’t complain.”
After all, any NU student worth their salt knows the old adage: “more hose, more woes.”
“Ladies, take him swimming on the first date so you can see what he looks like without a mask.”
“We’re eliminating so much more than just students,” one local administrator explains. “We’re eliminating the stigma around mental health here on campus. We’re doing real work here.”
Willard Residents Have “Night of Their Lives” After Drinking 2 Truly’s and Singing Showtunes by the Piano
Reports indicate that this party, which lasted through the night (2 AM), was more of a celebration of the theatre (“pronounced thee-ate-her, you classless hack!”), and definitely not a one-up contest of who was the better Tevye in their high school’s production of Fiddler on the Roof.
Before I knew it, I had run out of cool gay fits to showcase
“I guess I just didn’t expect my residents to be that unable to get laid.”
I conducted a completely unbiased poll sent exclusively to other lonely singles, and—sure enough—we have a scourge of couples on campus.
Northwestern Administration figured there may as well be an enjoyable experience at the end of the long-ass wait.