Morty Announces GPA Acceptance Week

EVANSTON—In response to the massive success of Body Acceptance Week, University President Morton Schapiro has announced plans to host a GPA Acceptance Week. “I think the community focuses too much on getting good grades,” said Morty. “I feel like students have this strange idea that how well you do in school correlates with your future. I hope that GPA Acceptance Week will dispel these myths.”

He further stated, “I believe students can benefit greatly from accepting their academic shortfalls and embracing their grades. Whether you’re struggling in engineering or flourishing in SESP, your level of academic prowess shouldn’t affect your self-esteem.”

Below are a few of the upcoming events scheduled for GPA Acceptance Week.


Midterm Mania

Where: Norbucks

Were you a Premed student before your first Orgo midterm? Did you transfer out of McCormick after EA? Stop by and vent your frustrations. We’ll listen to your stories and assure you that you made the right choice. After all, you must not have really wanted to be what you dreamed of as a child if your grades don’t say so.


You are Adequate Rock

Where: The Rock

Throughout the week, students are invited to visit the Rock and be comforted. Messages such as “You’re better than average” and “C’s get degrees” will cover the Rock and remind students of their adequacy. Even if we can’t be superstars, we can still pass.


Future is Forfeit

Where: Northwestern Career Advancement

Terrified about your future career prospects? Come in and learn about how to accept your bleak future. After all, with the growing waves of undergraduates flooding the job market, your academic skills make you indistinguishable from the rest. While you’re here, why not also learn why you should be a consultant?




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