Area White Man from the South Side– of Wilmette

Amid concerns of Northwestern’s general lack of student body diversity, one man bravely defied the odds. Area white guy Rick Gilberts is from… well… a south side.

“Growing up on the south side of Wilmette was a daily struggle,” Gilberts soulfully tells Flipside reporters. “I’m in the 99%. You know, the 99% of white people in Wilmette.” Gilberts is just like any other Northwestern student–a young man with a dream; a dream of maybe getting a right swipe from Becca in Econ 201.

Says Gilberts on his uphill climb to Northwestern prestige, “You just take it day by day. That’s what we say in Wil-town: day by day, baby, that’s how you make it through this crazy city.” He chuckles, shaking his head wistfully. “Day by day.”

At time of publishing, Gilberts was seen desperately trying to bond with the one student from Englewood.

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