Reports indicate that Communications majors are passing art classes with ease. The Northwestern Flipside has obtained a copy of a typical art department class syllabus to investigate how on earth this could possibly occur. The syllabus has been reprinted verbatim below.

Week 1: Discuss our favorite feelings, textures. Be prepared to explain the last time you cried.

Homework: Spend 30 minutes exploring your heart, and then spend 30 minutes drawing mindlessly.

Week 2: History of famous artists. You are allowed to doodle in your notebook during the lecture, but be prepared to share your art with the class.

Homework: Spend at least 2 hours in the lab playing with 4 different materials.

Week 3: Depressing discussion of lack of future. Do not expect any useful advice.

Homework: Get a waitressing job and draw a graphic novel about your future lifestyle.

Week 4: Modern Art from a sexual perspective. An alternative look at the porn industry.

Homework: Find someone you do not know, and draw them naked. It must be someone that you DO NOT know personally.

Week 5: Video Art. We will spend several hours teaching you how to edit video.

Homework: Film something mundane. Try to make it as boring as possible.

Week 6: CRITIQUE DAY. We will spend this class finding meaning in all of your work thus far. Though to you it is almost definitely meaningless, I will be able to find 30 minutes worth of thoughts to share for each piece.

Homework: None.

Week 7: FIELD TRIP! We will travel to the Art Institute of Chicago for some “experiential learning.”

Homework: None.

Week 8: The art of performance. In class you will create a performance, no more than 5 minutes long, and perform it for the class. All theater majors will be excluded from this activity. Fair is fair.

Homework: None.

Week 9: Peer critique. At this point, you should have developed a critical eye for the artwork of your peers. You are to (in some form other than writing) critique one work by each of your peers.

Homework: Ponder carefully the critiques your peers gave you.

Final project: Do whatever you want. You will be harshly critiqued, but there are no rules.