ZOMBIE ISSUE: Zombie Apocalypse Happens, Joan Rivers Somehow Not Infected

HOLLYWOOD – The zombie apocalypse appears to have finally occurred, but at least one human will make it out alive. Joan Rivers, the television personality and actress, is reportedly in good health and spirits following the zombie epidemic.

“Joan is doing wonderfully,” said Rivers’s zombie spokeswoman, Jane Wilson. “In fact, she plans to attend the red carpet for the Zombie Academy Awards this winter! It will be the same old Joan we all know and love.”

Scientists are not sure how the comedian has managed to avoid detection even while walking among brain-hungry evil zombies. “Usually when a human is in the presence of zombies, it’s like throwing a slab of meat to dogs,” said zombiologist Norman Watkins. “But in the case of Joan Rivers, the zombies appear to be completely unable to detect her. They simply cannot detect any human resemblance.”

Sources close to Rivers told Flipside reporters that the actress has continued with her daily routine despite the zombie overthrow of the world. “She still meets the girls at the Supper Club every morning for mimosas,” the source said. “Then it’s on to the afternoon bridge game.”

As fewer and fewer humans remain alive, it seems that the hopes of humanity will rest in the hands of one woman – Joan Rivers.

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