NU Student on Innuendo Overuse – “Stop shoving it down my throat”

EVANSTON—According to at least one Northwestern student, what you say is no longer what you mean. On a modern college campus, its seems that anything one says — no matter the topic, will be taken to be sexual in nature. Any statement, sentence, or phrase is assumed, at least by the more perverted members of the student body, to be referring to the act of making love and private parts. Thankfully, some students are just not going to take it anymore.

“Honestly, it’s getting a bit hard to swallow,” says Mary LeCoumb about innuendo overuse. LeCoumb, a Medill freshman, is responsible for a new campus-wide movement against the wordplay. “Students here do it everywhere” she says,“I don’t know how much I can handle.”

LeCoumb believes that such lewd behavior is a serious problems, but she does “feel as if [she’s] on top of it.” Mary is taking the approach of convincing students that their minds are better used for scholastic endeavors — “NU students have got their minds stuck the gutter, but in reality, there are so many better places to stick it, places that will feel so much more satisfying.” LeCoumb’s fledgling organization, Take Initiative Towards Seemliness! (TITS!), is currently looking for new members.

When asked to describe a school year at Northwestern, Mary replied: “Long and hard. And often wet, but inviting nevertheless” she added with a laugh, referring to the uncooperative weather. “The only way to succeed here is to really penetrate deeply, to really put it all in when it comes to academics.”

LeCoumb believes giving up innuendos is the only way for this to happen, but she realizes how difficult that will be. Even she has used an innuendo before. “Yeah, I’ve done it. My first time was rough.” she says, “but I assure you, nothing of that nature has been in my mouth since.”

Students interested in stopping innuendo overuse should contact LeCoumb, who attests that TITS! is extremely welcoming. She says “attend just one meeting, and we’ll grab you and make sure you never stop coming.”


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