BREAKING: Pete Davidson Now Dating God, States: “Sheâs Fine In Bed, I Guess”
When asked to comment, the stand-up comic maintained that a gentleman ânever bangs our Lord and tells”.
Tag Archives: Sex
New Survey Finds Curling to be Best Olympic Sport to have Sex to
Thereâs just something about those rocks that gets my mind thinking and my body moving
Ask Flippy: My Boyfriend Wonât Stop Screaming U Rah Rah! During Sex, How Do I Make It Stop?
“At first, I didnât mind, since Iâm tremendously committed to school spirit.”
Couple with COVID Probably Having Hot Quarantine Sex in Plex, Youâre Having Dining Hall Chickpeas On a Friday Night
Speaking of safety, these active couples arenât putting it first. But are we really surprised that theyâre avoiding protection when they already have a hard time keeping their masks above their noses? Letâs cut them some slack. After all, itâs just not the same with a mask on.
Professor Who Talks about Bridgerton in Class Has Not Gotten to the âWildest Dreamsâ Sex Scene Yet
Bennett can only cringe in embarrassment knowing that while her professor loves Daphneâs character arc in the first few episodes, she will soon watch the protagonist cum in two minutes with zero foreplay.
Biden Mocks Trump Who âProbably Isnât Getting Laid At Allâ In Quarantine
âI really feel for Olâ Donald during his period of isolation. I simply cannot imagine a night without the tunes boppinâ, a drink in my hand, and a hot wife to rail, much less two weeks! Itâs truly a tragedy of our generation.â
Ask Flippy: Ever Since I Fucked Your Husband Youâve Been Treating Me Like a Completely Different Person. What Gives?
Next time you get a friendâs husband to cheat on her with you, perhaps try not writing about âSteveâs mind-blowing oralâ on your sexual health blog.
Sexually Frustrated Freshman Finally Finds Hookup, Out Of Socks To Put On Door
“I go through socks pretty fast because, uh, I change my socks a lot. Itâs okay, though. November is coming up soon and Iâll try again then, because of No Nut â shit, I mean, because the weather is cooler and my feet will sweat less. So, like, I wonât need to change socks all the time,â he clarified.
Op-Ed: I thought Getting Laid would Solve all my Problems, and it did.
I was lazy, listless, and broken inside, but ever since our night (or really evening) of passion, my life has totally turned around. I got into not one, but two improv groups on campus.
William Barr to House Democrats: âDo You Like It When I Tease You?â
When asked what he meant by this, Mr. Barr wasted no time responding, saying âmmmmmm those dirty, dirty Democrats want that juicy Mueller report.